XBox 360 Rally

I have had the most amazing week on the planet Earth. I’ve fallen in love with a beautiful and understanding woman, I get to tend to you fine people day in and day out, and, by the way, I got the hook-up for the Detroit Video Games Live event this past Friday, where I hung out with Tommy Tallarico, Jack Hall, Martin Leung and the whole VGL crew. When you’re the immortal “MaximusPaynicus”, you get a few treats every now and then. By the way, you can expect my official recap and review in the next few days, and in the coming weeks I’ll actually be sitting down with Tommy Tallarico for a one-on-one interview.

But enough gloating for now — let’s get to t3h w31rd!

WoW That’s Dumb! #1: International WoW Romance Leads to Arrest
MMORPGs are a complicated concept to fully grasp. Many, myself included, never do. One of the things that get people into trouble IRL is when they allow their emotions to spill out of the game, and into real life. While we usually hear about the violent outbursts, or the crippling addictions spurred by these games, very rarely do you hear about a tale of forbidden love. This is one of those times, but I assure you… it’s not a happy story.

A 31-year-old woman is currently being held in a North Carolina jail (as of Monday) after attempting to abduct a seventeen year-old, and fly him back to Australia with her. The two met on World of Warcraft a year prior when he was sixteen, and apparently the two had fallen madly in love. The twist: Apparently it was the boy’s idea to fly out to Australia, but after being caught trying to board a flight to Australia, the woman flew out to North Carolina in an attempt to “sort this all out.” As she tried to board a train, she was met by three agents, where she was taken into custody.

She’ll be appearing in court next Wednesday, and I’ll keep you updated about her situation next week inside t3h w31rd.

WoW That’s Dumb! #2: Two People. 47 PCs. At the same time.
For most who spend time inside one of the many MMORPGs out there, there is always one primary character that the player has a special bond with. While you DO play as other characters and classes, there is always that one (usually your first) that you will inevitably return to because of that bond you have with it. But what if, say, your gaming area looked something like this:

It’s called “boxing”, and it’s the art of playing more than one PC at the same time. Here is how the mastermind, a fellow who claims to have a girlfriend, explains his obsession:

I started boxing in 2001 in EverQuest. At first it was dual boxing, then triple, then quad, then I 6 boxed for a long time. My girlfriend began boxing and I decided to “kick it up a notch” and we began doing our own raids. In 2005 we started playing WoW.

I went through alot of hardware along the way. At first it was X-Keys and KVMs, then I went with Cherry programmable keyboards and KVMs. I never felt the urge to go monitor crazy — like many boxers I focused my attention on a single screen, had another monitor locked onto another character, and finally the 3rd monitor cycled through the KVM.

If you count the number of PCs, you’ll get 47. My girlfriend controls 23 and I control 23. The other one is a server. All but 2 of those pcs are diskless. It got to the point that updating 46 PCs just took too long, the hard drives added to the electric bill and generated heat, so I found a good PXE solution that works great.

Now… my theory is that she is being held against her will. That’s my theory. I’m sticking with it. Another thing that puzzles me — if they’re playing WoW on 46 rigs, with another rig as a server, where in the hell are they getting money to pay the bills? He must have been born into money.

Look, I can understand why you at home would think the idea of owning 47 PCs would be cool. Hell, I think it would be cool. However there comes a point where you just have to say ‘No’. Moderation and self-control are the keys to living both a productive real life, and a productive gaming life.

…and if nothing else, you’ll get a lot more tail if you go outside every once in a while.

Master Chief Loves Teddies
You know, every once in a while words can not express how I feel…

…this is one of those times.

Master Chief Is Jesus Christ
Ever since the release of Halo back in 2001, gamers across the globe have wondered what Master Chief looks like. There have been countless web debates, Zapruder-esque examination of every questionable shadow that could give a hint as to what our favorite Spartan looks like.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, it’s gone too damn far. There is an image going around the internet of a new, “mysterious face” hidden in Master Chief’s visor:

You know who’s face that is? No one’s! It’s a random anomaly that’s made an appearance in an artistic interpretation of Master Chief! That. Is. IT! You want to see a face so badly? Here!

…God, that woman is frightening…

And Finally, a Double-Dip of Nintendo!

Fifteen Years of Nintendo Power Magazine!

I read it. You read it. Your friends have read it. It was the epitome of all gaming mags back in the late-80s and all through the 1990s. And now, thanks to RetroMags.com, we’ll soon be reading them all over again. The Mission of Retro Mags is to preserve issues of such classic magazines as Nintendo Power, Sega Visions, Electronic Gaming Monthly (when they were still viable), and Turbo Force. While their collections currently consist of covers, and a rundown of what is inside each issue, the ultimate goal is to make each issue fully readable from their website, which is linked above. Be sure to check it out right freaking now!

Super Mario Bros.: Frustration

Before you ask, you’ll need a copy of MAME, or JNES, or some other Emulation Software to play this. And no, I won’t link you to where you can find it, mostly because I can’t find it either. Either way, this is a video of one man’s growing frustrations as he tries out one of the hardest damn Mods I’ve ever seen. Ever. It’s freaking hilarious. It’s nearly a half-hour long, however, so make sure to be wearing comfortable parachute pants before viewing this hardcore retro video.

See y’all next week!

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