XBox 360 Rally

It’s been a most interesting week, hasn’t it? This whole damn week has been one giant “t3h w31rd” segment. After all, when one of the most anticipated games of the year gets released a week early by the largest toy retail chain in the nation… it tends to make a few headlines. It almost seems like we’ve heard SOMETHING about BioShock every day this week.

So, it is with that in mind that I promise you all a BioShock FREE Edition of “t3h w31rd”.

Nintendo DS Emulator on the PSP… because that makes a shitload of sense.
No, you’re not reading that wrong, nor did I write that backwards — someone has come up with a Nintendo DS emulator for the PSP. Why? I don’t know, to say they could, maybe? That seriously makes absolutely no sense to me, but whatever. Next time, however, try to focus more on getting me a NES emulator worth my time, since Jnes sucks. (Someone had to say it, kids.)

Madden Fans Demand Ambulance!
I’m sure every gamer over the age of twelve has some fond memories of playing John Madden Football, back when it was called “John Madden Football”. One of the best features in the early Madden games that was mysteriously removed from the more recent titles was, of course, the ambulance.

You remember the ambulance, right? Whenever you’d get injured, a big ol’ white Ambulance with a red cross painted on the top and sides would rush out onto the field, mowing down any player in it’s way as it came to cart off the injured player.

God, that brings back old memories. Makes me want to throw on some MC Hammer and pop Sonic 3 into the Genesis.

“Achievement Locked”

…I really have nothing to add to that. All I can really say is that if your girlfriend doesn’t wear those, she doesn’t love you.

First-Person Porn!
Christ I wish this wasn’t true, but alas… here I am, about to further degrade myself by passing this information on to you people.

If you haven’t heard, there is an internet porn series called “World of Whorecraft” that, sadly, has become pretty popular. I’ve even seen it, and I have to say… that’s 24 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. But again, people liked it, so naturally you’d see spin-offs. If the MMO-themed sex didn’t give you nearly enough video game-based porn action… well, you’re a sick puppy, but also, you’re in luck. The same production studio that gave the world their vision of Azeroth is now working on a project based on First-Person Shooters!

Their newest project, entited “Operation Sex: Cock and Load” (a part of me died inside just now), gives a reimagining of the FPS genre, ala Counter-Strike. After watching the trailer…

…yeah, let’s move on…

Fable: The Review
With Fable 2 on the horizon, I think it’s necessary to harken back on just how far the original Fable fell short.

Now, I loved the original Fable, but I have to admit… he’s right. He’s unquestionably right. But I still love you, Peter!

But this week’s winner…

It Goes Up To Eleven
There is this minor YouTube celebrity by the name of Ben. Ben thrashes at Guitar Hero II, and posts videos of his thrashing on YouTube for commenters everywhere to make fun of him for having no life and masturbating their egos by bragging that they can also get perfects on “Freebird” and “Psychobilly Freakout”.

So what makes Ben different from everyone else? …he’s NINE.

See y’all next week!

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