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Sony fanboy reviews Bioshock; hilarity ensues

by JW

NOTE: Notice the PS3 text? Yeah, it’ll make sense. Just read on.

bioshockps3.jpg

There is no denying it: BioShock owns your entire face. Every video game review for what will surely be the game of the year has awarded it scores averaging out to, according to GameRankings, 98%. To put that in perspective, the (almost) unanimous choice for “Greatest Game of All Time”, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, averages out at a 97.6, rounding up to 98%.

However, you’re always going to have your critics, and BioShock is no different. What makes this so special is that the only person who is complaining about BioShock is, as you probably would’ve guessed, a PS3 fanboy.

Primary complaints about BioShock from this PS3 fanboy:

  • Animation hitches
  • Shooting glitches
  • AI
  • Compressed Textures

  • So what is to blame for these issues? You guessed it again! DVD!

    You can complain about the AI, and the animation, and the supposed “shooting glitches” (which I’ve never heard of before now) all you want, but to say that the textures are compressed… well, you’re just blind. But I digress.

    So what does the PS3 Fanboy suggest you do?

    To conclude, let this game cook in the oven just a little bit longer and wait for the superior PS3 version. Cleaned up textures, animations, AI, extra weapons, Home space, standard HDD and Blu-ray will make this flawed game into a perfect gem.

    So, there you go. Wait for the PS3 version, because the Xbox 360 version is an ugly, stupid mess. You’re gonna be waiting a while, kiddies — no PS3 version has even been announced.

    [Sony Defense Force]

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Posted in General, Humor, Review on August 20th, 2007

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One Response to “Sony fanboy reviews Bioshock; hilarity ensues”

  1. Paul Says:
    August 21st, 2007 at 11:45 am

    This may be funny, but as a person that runs a blog, I’m so jealous of all the traffic they must be getting. Jesus, I need to think of something dumb to say so everyone hates me!!

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