XBox 360 Rally

If you haven’t played Portal yet, then I don’t know what to tell you. You’re missing out on one of the best puzzle games to ever be released, and by not playing you’re only contributing to the growing problem of developers making “safe” games, like FPS titles. Yeah, I said it — if you don’t play Portal, you’re hurting the games industry and the creative process of mankind. I hope you’re happy.

Either way, here is the songwriter, Jonathan Coulton, performing “Still Alive” in front of a live audience in Atlanta. If you haven’t played Portal yet, then you have been given your formal Spoiler Alert. Now listen.

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Hi, boys and girls. It’s just me, your friendly neighborhood JW, here to remind you all that we’re currently looking for people to replace us here at Xbox 360 Rally. All you have to do is go HERE, fill out the form, and wait to hear back. It’s really not that hard.

So, get to it already — so Paco and I can get to the NEW site!

Ok, people, here’s the deal — Paco and I are on our way out. We’re taking over at 1PStart.com in an effort to restore it to it’s former glory. …that, and I just plain want to write about another game every once in a while, is that so wrong?!

Anyways, here is what we’re looking for: A competent, capable writer with a love for all things Xbox. Now, by competent writer, we mean someone who spells “you” correctly, and knows when to capitalize. If you can do that, you’re a shoe-in. So, CLICK THIS DAMN LINK, do the required stuff, then get paid to play video games and write about stuff.

…hell, Mike and I did the hard stuff already, and YES, the GTA4 Banner contest will continue, and I will still give you a copy of GTA IV… or something. So, hop to it.

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You know, last week I didn’t do t3h w31rd, and then this week… not too much happened. So I may be scraping the bottom of the barrel, but I did what I could. So, without further adieu, I present to you “t3h w31rd”…

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Sarcastic Gamer has been the source for some of the funnest gaming parodies out there; their song about the PS3, “How to Kill Your Brand”, was awesome. Well, the guys at Sarcastic Gamer are at it again, with this ballad to the awesomeness and earth-shattering importance of Halo 3.

So, listen to this song, then go out and pre-order Halo 3 if you haven’t already. You’ll be helping the starving children.

[Sarcastic Gamer]

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Halo 3 will be released at 12:01am on Tuesday, September 25th, 2007. Odds are you will see many hundreds of people lined up at your local EBGameStop, Best Buy, Circuit City, or 7-11 hours in advance. Unless you plan on going to the Metreon in San Francisco, in which case you may already be in line.

That’s right, ladies and dudes — there are people already lining up outside the Metreon in anticipation of being the first to get their hands on Halo 3. I hope they brought a lot of tacos, and batteries for their Game Boy, because they’re going to be waiting thirteen days. That’s 312 hours. That’s 18,720 minutes. That’s 1,123,200 seconds.

…that’s a really long ass time!

Now, while I am most impressed with their fanaticism to be the FIRST to get their grubby little hands on Halo 3, in the end it is a futile effort. After all, they live on the pacific coast, three hours behind us sophisticated East Coast folk, but I digress.

UPDATO MAGNIFICO!
You guys… I blew the image up in Photoshop, and it looks like it’s from the damn Pontiac IMAX showing! So, to those people who went to the IMAX showing that I inadvertently insulted… my bad.

[Thanks to Brad, Emily, "capthaize" (pot much?) and Paul Foley for sending me this image... repeatedly... could I get a source link?]

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This week was kind of slow, so it’s a mixture of w31rdness and a quick list of my five personal favorite video game commercials to ever grace the television. This week features your favorite Marvel Superheroes as zombies, we find out that Dr. Gregory House is a gamer, we see the coolest car of all time PLUS, again, the top five video game commercials of all time… and four of them suck.

Oh, and Duke Nukem Forever news, too.

This is “t3h w31rd”.

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This week has it all, people! Whether it being the PSP-equivalent of the Red Ring of Death, a bad Korean version of Street Fighter: The Movie, a really, really bad knock-off of Super Mario Bros. sponsored by PETA, or Bad Dudes: The Movie, this week has a little bit of everything. So sit down, shut up, read, and rejoice.

It’s t3h w31rd.

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A fourteen year-old North Carolina boy is lucky to be alive tonight after nearly killing himself in an attempt to cool off his Xbox 360.

According to the Darwin Award-nominated child’s mother, the Xbox 360 console would continuously shut off after about five minutes of use. Finally, the child went online and found a possible solution for remedying this by cooling off the power supply. Take it away, mom!

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It’s been a most interesting week, hasn’t it? This whole damn week has been one giant “t3h w31rd” segment. After all, when one of the most anticipated games of the year gets released a week early by the largest toy retail chain in the nation… it tends to make a few headlines. It almost seems like we’ve heard SOMETHING about BioShock every day this week.

So, it is with that in mind that I promise you all a BioShock FREE Edition of “t3h w31rd”.

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It’s that time once again, ladoes and gents. The weekly recap of the strange and odd known only as “t3h w31rd”. This week we’ve got everything from poor Chinese knock-offs of the PlayStation, to a man who’s figured out how to play Halo 2 on his Xbox 360 using a Wiimote and Nunchuk (and black magic), to another resourceful modder who’s created a Universal Remote out of an old Atari 2600 controller. Follow that up with the sexiest Stormtrooper you’ve ever seen, and to cap it all off… the worst… video game movie… ever.

Ever.

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The servers are melting. Paco spilled his cola on the keyboard. JW’s out back trying to wrangle the horses. In short, we’re all kinds of FUBAR, so we may not be able to update as much as we’d like today.

Sorry, peeps. We’ll be back soon.

There has been a lot of controversy regarding a recently posted rumor regarding SEGA’s possible Tokyo Game Show line-up. Now, I was originally very defensive of this piece because of who sent it in. He, a long-time go-to guy named Rob, has sent me exclusive tips for four years, and until this most recent one, they were ALL accurate.

Regardless, after the link had been posted by reader “Cedge”, I immediately contacted Rob via GoogleIM.

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Cyberdine Systems Model T-69
This was so damn out there that it warranted the redesign of “t3h w31rd” logo.

Basically what you have here is someone over at Gizmondo having way too much time to kill. If you’re a regular reader of their site (which I’m not), you may remember their little piece about LED circuits getting their groove thang on a while back. Well, this is… something. I’m not going to post the pics, but you can click the link to see ALL the titanium-on-titanium erotica your heart can desire.

…fuckin’ weirdo…

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The past couple of weeks have been pretty lacking in the w31rdness, mostly due to E3 and it’s aftermath. It happens every year. But not to fear, this week I’ve found a few items for you that I think will tickle everyone’s fancy. From kidnapping and extortion, to your weekly WoW update, to pure, raw sex appeal, this week’s entry has a bit of everything for everyone.

And with that, I present this week’s “t3h w31rd”!

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