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t3h w31rd: July 22nd, 2007

by JW


The past couple of weeks have been pretty lacking in the w31rdness, mostly due to E3 and it’s aftermath. It happens every year. But not to fear, this week I’ve found a few items for you that I think will tickle everyone’s fancy. From kidnapping and extortion, to your weekly WoW update, to pure, raw sex appeal, this week’s entry has a bit of everything for everyone.

And with that, I present this week’s “t3h w31rd”!

Top Online Gamer Kidnapped, Forced to Transfer His Account
Police in Brazil arrested a gang this past Tuesday that had kidnapped the top scorer in the online game GunBound, in an attempt to gain his account by forcing the man to transfer it to them.

Apparently, the gang “La Firma” (self-titled) had threatened many gamers in an attempt to try and force them to transfer their accounts. I guess they tried some twenty-plus times to transfer the top scorer’s account before finally realizing that they weren’t going to get him to crack over the internet. So, they lured the player into a trap.

Naturally, they used a girl. Yes, boys and girls, they set him up on a date. But instead of being greeted by the nineteen year-old girl he had beel flirting with, he was instead met with a man holding a handgun. From there, the gang forced him into an internet cafe to transfer his points.

Now, I’ve never played GunBound. Never even heard of it, but I suppose it’s fairly popular. Obviously it’s competitave enough to hold people up at gunpoint to get their points. Yeesh. This is almost as bad as the Mexico gentleman who got his ass kicked when he kept harassing someone’s wife in WoW. Speaking of WoW…

WoW! It’s an iPhone!
The iPhone isn’t even a month old, and already we have a bevvy of sweet cracks for the touch phone. This one just happens to be my favorite.

Now, obviously the game isn’t going to run fully on the iPhone. But it’s a cool little hack that I think should be looked into in the future.

TRIPLE Dip of Gamer Rage!
It’s like a double dip, plus one! It goes without saying that gamers are a passionate bunch. Often times we live and die with our game. Even the most composed gamer has had his or her moments where they find themselves shouting, screaming, and even wanting to throw heavy objects at the television. Fortunately most of us don’t, but there are a few out there who don’t know when to hit the brakes, and take a breath.

These are but three examples of those times where being a gamer can be hazardous to your health:

1.) The Hand of Thor!
This isn’t by any stretch the funniest, but it is easily the coolest of the three. A Gamer, after getting owned in Counter-Strike, slams his fist in frustration. And kills his PC.

2.) Sniper Guy
“GET IN THE FUCKING WARTHOG! THERE’S A FUCKING SNIPER!” I’ve heard these words many times in the past while playing Halo 2, but when you hear this man talking to his teammates on XBL, it makes you happy that you’ve never, ever come across him in game.

…you know, he reminds me of an old, familiar friend, and that’s not even …

3.) Angry German Kid
Now, this video made it’s rounds a while back. It’s basically a German kid who goes absolutely apeshit on his keyboard while, apparently, having issues with his computer. In actuality, this kid is throwing his grade A tantrum because Unreal Tournament won’t load fast enough.

No joke.

So instead of showing you the normal video, and because I absolutely hate the Cardinals for stealing my World Series, here’s another translation of the Angry German Kid.

Holy Crap, They Built a Warthog
People overseas are more creative than Americans. This is a sad truth of life. Take for example the fine people in the land of Lord of the Rings and Xena: Warrior Princess, New Zealand. For you see, the fine folks at WETA have built a Warthog. Not some plastic or die-cast replica, but an actual, to scale harbinger of death!


Now, I have to ask: What in the hell could this thing’s practical use be? I know that, in the states, if you were seen driving a souped-up 4-wheeler with an M249 strapped to the hood down I-75, you’d have your ass bombed. Bombs would fall from the sky and blow you up.

Now, if this were for a Fan Film, like the one we saw at E3… that would rule. Either way, I want to buy one.

Make Ayane Strip!
Who loves Japan? I know I do! Where else can you buy things like panties from vending machines, or statues of Dead or Alive’s Ayane that feature removable clothing? NO WHERE! …well, maybe the internet, but physically you can’t find that stuff anywhere else.

Clothes ON:

Clothes OFF:

That’s right, folks. For the low, low price of 8,190 Yen (or roughly $67.57), you can own this surprisingly detailed figurine. What you do with it once you get it… well, you leave that to your own damn self.



3D Mailbox!

Ladies and Gentlemen… that is officially the strangest God damn thing I have ever seen.

See y’all next week.

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